


everything's changing (with you)

by beebomademedoit



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Arrow - Freeform, Canon Related, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, blind, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24133840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beebomademedoit/pseuds/beebomademedoit
Summary: post 5x11Sara and Ava deal with the news of her new condition.
Relationships: Sara Lance & Ava Sharpe, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 8
Kudos: 153





	everything's changing (with you)

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do.” Gideon’s voice fades to the background as Sara’s heart pounds against her chest. She sits up, jaw dropped, eyes stretched open wide. Her vision remains dark. Her hope slipping away as fast as the blood rushing to her head. 

“Gideon,” Ava calls out, her voice raspy with nerves. The AI stays quiet, hiding in the safe inter-webs of the Waverider. “Gideon!” Ava shouts again, stern and demanding like her days as the Director of the Time Bureau. 

“Ava, stop it!” Sara yells so loud it sends a chill down Ava’s spine. “Just stop.”

Ava sighs, “I’m just trying to help, Sara.”

“You’re not.” Sara jumps to her feet, anger spewing out of every pour. Ava reaches to stop her, but Sara pushes her off. 

“Don’t touch me.”

“Sara, you can’t see anything!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Sara spins around and points her finger at Ava as she yells. She’d been so strong all day, determined everything would return to normal, unable to consider, even for a second, that her blindness would be permanent. 

The League of Assassins had trained her well for this moment. John’s confidence in her had reinstilled some sense of normalcy when she took out the hellhound with a simple backflip kick. But she knew the moment an Encore sent them time traveling to a foreign location, her independence would be stripped from her - and rightly so. Her team couldn’t afford to babysit her during a mission. 

“Baby,” Ava’s voice breaks through the silence, soft yet laced with a warning. Sara’s hand drops to her side, the other running through her hair. She’d lost herself in her thoughts and works hard to recenter herself in the med-bay, trying to imagine where exactly she’s standing in relation to the chairs and door. And to Ava, of course, who speaks again from directly across the room. 

“Please, let’s just take a breath, okay?” Ava asks, stepping closer. “This is a lot to process.” 

Sara flinches at the gentle touch of Ava’s hands running down her shoulders to her hands. Her muscles tense. Oh, how she wants to fall into Ava’s embrace, feel Ava's heart beat echo through her ears, and match the rise and fall of her own breathing with her girlfriend’s. 

But she can’t. She won’t. 

“Don’t touch me.” She pronounces as she pulls her hands away, hiding them behind her back, and steps away from Ava. She can imagine the hurt look spreading across Ava’s face - her furrowed brows, scrunched lips, and dropped shoulders. It makes her own heart heavy just picturing Ava unhappy. 

They stand in silence for a long time. Sara looks to the ground, rocking back and forth on her heels. She knows Ava’s watching her closely, feels almost like a school kid waiting to be scolded by a teacher. In another circumstance, that might turn her on, but not today, not with the awful news floating in the quiet space between them. 

Ava shakes her head slightly, puffing out a sigh full of frustration and anger - all the things she wishes she could say but holds back because how can you truly be mad at someone who’s just lost their sight? Whose world has turned upside-down with one awful, unexpected proclamation. 

Sara’s head lifts up as she listens closely to Ava’s soft footsteps tap across the room. 

“Ava?” She questions, her heart sinking. Did she leave? When Ava doesn’t respond and the room grows eerily quiet, Sara asks again, this time more worried.

“Ava?” She turns around panicked and reaches out to follow the footsteps. She pauses at the door, a dark realization dawning on her. She could wonder this entire ship three times over and still not find Ava if she didn’t want to be found. Without help from someone else or the sound of Ava herself, Ava could be gone forever. 

“Please, come back…” Sara whispers. She closes her eyes, her head dizzy, her limbs growing shaky. This can’t be happening. 

Flashes of memories cross her vision. Ava lying on the cold, hard ground dead, the blood draining out of her scalp. Sara’s wicked smirk as she drives a knife into her teammates bodies, no remorse, no hesitation. Just a monster. 

Sara collapses to the ground. She can’t hold it back any longer, no matter how hard she tries. Tears drip from her eyes. She clenches her fists and punches the ground hard and fast, unbothered by the cracking of her knuckles or the pain that radiates through her body. 

“SARA!” Ava’s voice shouts from behind, a clatter of silverware hitting the floor afterwards. But Sara keeps punching, thrashing at anything she can touch. It’s the only way she knows how to release this awful energy from her body. She hears Ava calling to her, begging her to stop, but her mind is far disconnected from her body. She can’t stop. 

Ava lunges for Sara, grabbing Sara’s hands which drip with fresh blood, pinning her hands against the wall above her head, rendering Sara useless. She tries to wiggle free, but Ava leans into her, forcing Sara’s body still. 

“Sara, relax, please.” Ava begs, her lips hovering over Sara’s. She squeezes tight to Sara’s hand, unconcerned with the prospect of a vision. Anything to get Sara to come back to her, calm and (ideally) ready to talk. 

Sara jolts under Ava’s grasp, her breath catching in her throat. She sees the med-bay, dimly lit except for the screen which shows Sara’s scan. Blinking at the bottom of one monitor reads: No abnormalities detected. The vision jolts to the doorway, where Ava pulls Sara from her place on the ground and wraps her in a tight hug, whispering clearly into her ear, “I’m here.” Ava’s eyes are red and puffy. Her hair cascades down her back tangling with Sara’s. She’s beautiful and tired and...here. 

Through Sara’s glassy eyes, Ava still senses the moment Sara snaps back into reality, her eyelids flicking open wider and her gaze tilting up, where Sara guesses Ava’s eyes are staring back down at her. 

“I--” Sara stutters, voice tight.

Ava releases her grip on Sara’s hands and slides Sara onto her lap, holding her close. 

“I thought you left.” Sara finally croaks out. Ava sighs, her head falling back against the wall.

“I did, briefly. I just….needed a minute. Thought you might too, but, god, I’m sorry if I scared you. I should have said something, I wasn’t thinking, that was so stupid of me. We’ve hardly had a second to think today. I just wanted to do something useful for you, so...” Ava pulls a pint of melting ice cream closer and places it in Sara’s hands. She jolts with the coldness, then chuckles softly, relaxing into Ava’s warm, safe embrace. 

“Now, I look like the stupid one.” Sara mumbles. 

“Hmm?” Ava nudges Sara to continue. She knows Sara is close to opening up now. All she can do is stay present and patient, giving her girlfriend the time to think, to process, and then to speak. 

“I -- I didn’t know where you went.” Sara pauses. She hates being so vulnerable, especially now that she can’t tell how her words are being interpreted. But right on cue, Ava knows exactly how to calm her down. She kisses Sara’s temple, running her hands soothingly along Sara’s thighs, purposefully avoiding Sara’s hands which seem to be the main trigger for her visions. 

“Talk to me, babe. I’m here.”

Sara takes a deep, shaky breath then lets it all out, fast and breathlessly, “I started thinking maybe you’d left...for good, which I wouldn’t blame you for, because you don’t deserve any of this. You deserve a life with someone who doesn’t murder you in alternate realities. Someone who can make your life better. Not me. I’m just, I’m death. I’ll always be a killer, always be dragging you into dangerous situations. I thought maybe you’d finally figured that out and had enough of me.” 

A tear slips from Sara’s eye. She lets it fall down her cheek as she nervously plays with a ring on her finger. Ava looks down at her girlfriend, admiring every bit of her. 

“Hey,” Ava says sternly, tilting Sara’s gaze to hers, forcing Sara to stay present in this conversation and not retreat into her corner. “I am never going anywhere. Never.” Ava attempts to reassure Sara, but Sara scoffs, every emotion she’s shoved down all day about to boil over again. 

“But I’m --” She’s about to say it, for the first time. The word catches in her throat. She has to admit it, has to speak it into reality. Get used to it. 

“I’m blind. Which I know, relatively speaking, is not the end of the world, but it is the end of mine. Of ours. I’m never going to be the same, Ava. Can’t be a Legend, not really. Can’t be the girlfriend you deserve. Can’t protect you. Can’t even stare at you when you're sleeping.” Sara groans. 

“You’re right,” Ava says finally. She feels Sara hold her breath with anticipation. “Things are going to change, my love, they always do. That is maybe the most normal thing about this whole situation. Relationships change, Sara, with time, and this is just a new twist in ours. It is not an end. You hear me, Lance?” 

Sara nods, but Ava’s not convinced she really believes.

“When you got on the Gambit, you had no idea how that would change everything. And yet, through all the pain and suffering you endured, you’re still here. And you, Sara Lance, are a force to be reckoned with. A beautiful, stubborn, forward-thinking force. You have overcome every damn obstacle you’ve faced, this is no different than that.”

“No, it is.” Sara whispers to herself, then rests her head into the crook of Ava’s neck, reaching for Ava’s hand no matter the consequence of the touch.

“It is different,” she says louder, more confident. “Cause this time I have you.”

Ava sighs, relieved. “Always, my love. Always.” Ava leans down and kisses Sara, first on the forehead, then the tip of her small nose, and finally the lips, which melt together perfectly. Sara moans, deepening the kiss and moving her free hand up Ava’s shirt. Ava rests her hand on Sara’s cheek, closing her eyes as she pulls Sara closer to her chest. 

“You promise?” Sara asks quietly as she pulls away from Ava. 

“Pinky promise, if you promise me something.”

“What?” Sara smirks, suspicious, running her fingers down Ava’s hairline, wishing she could see the blonde hair herself. 

“Don’t give up on me, on us, so easily. We’re gonna figure this out together, but you’ve gotta let me in, let me help you.”

“Okay,” Sara kisses Ava’s neck softly. “I promise.”

Then just like her vision, she feels Ava picking her up from off the ground and pulling her into a deep hug. 

“I’m here for you, Sara.” Ava smiles. “For anything and everything.”

A vision jolts Sara. She’s in her bedroom, lying on the bed. Ava’s undressing, tossing her clothes into the hamper and not bothering to look sexy for Sara, who, sadly, can’t see her. Or so she thinks. 

“Heh.” Sara laughs as they separate from their hug.

“What?” Ava holds onto Sara’s arm as she guides her out the room. 

“Maybe these visions won’t be so bad.” Sara smirks, closing her eyes and resting her head on Ava’s shoulder as they walk.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading my first Avalance fic! I really hope LoT writers give Sara a moment to process all this news before jumping right back into action for the rest of the season.


End file.
